Emotional and Exhausted:

Yesterday was a long and exhausting day.  Mom was to be dismissed from the hospital.  We waited until 3 o'clock before they dismissed her.  The Hospice nurse was there.  I can't believe how fast and efficient they are.  They had given me four prescriptions to get filled.  Cindy (Hospice nurse) said I will get these filled and then be on out to the house.  Whew!  What a relief we didn't have to go across town and wait for prescriptions to be filled.
Dad and I got Mom in the house with her new wheel chair.  Very heavy to maneuver around.  Not long after Cindy and another nurse, Lori showed up.  We had a lot of paperwork to go over and sign.  Several different services offered.  Lori and I were in the kitchen going over the medicine list when I hear Mom say she's all tied up.  Cindy reassured her she would never be tied up.  Mom said, no I feel like you're taking over my life and now I'll be tied up to staying at home all the time.  Wake up call, Mom, we can barely take care of you let along take you places.  She told Cindy she changed her mind.  I don't like to cuss but Damn!!  They went to a lot of work to get everything setup and all sorts of services to help us!  Cindy was so patient and explained to Mom they could cut the nursing visits down for the week and more how the process worked.  (Which was explained very well yesterday at the hospital).  Mom kept crying.  I know this is a difficult time for her but it is on the rest of us as well.  She finally agreed to it.  After they left, she bawled like a baby.  This so much harder than I ever expected.  I love my Mom, but she is a difficult patient.
 Zach and MacKensie came by for a visit.  I still needed to go home and back to town to pick up groceries for Mom and Dad.  It's a good thing Dwayne isn't too picky as I wasn't home to fix supper and then bring him a sandwich around 8:30.  He works so hard in construction with a two hour drive each way.  I don't know how he does it.  He deserves a nice hot meal when he comes home.
My Dad still insists he can take care of her.  He is ninety and it's a full time job.  He can't lift on her too much longer.  I honestly think she needs to be in a nursing home but we will see how Hospice works out.  But they can only do so much.

Although I've been complaining a lot I am grateful to still have our Mom with us.