Emotional and Exhausted:

Yesterday was a long and exhausting day.  Mom was to be dismissed from the hospital.  We waited until 3 o'clock before they dismissed her.  The Hospice nurse was there.  I can't believe how fast and efficient they are.  They had given me four prescriptions to get filled.  Cindy (Hospice nurse) said I will get these filled and then be on out to the house.  Whew!  What a relief we didn't have to go across town and wait for prescriptions to be filled.
Dad and I got Mom in the house with her new wheel chair.  Very heavy to maneuver around.  Not long after Cindy and another nurse, Lori showed up.  We had a lot of paperwork to go over and sign.  Several different services offered.  Lori and I were in the kitchen going over the medicine list when I hear Mom say she's all tied up.  Cindy reassured her she would never be tied up.  Mom said, no I feel like you're taking over my life and now I'll be tied up to staying at home all the time.  Wake up call, Mom, we can barely take care of you let along take you places.  She told Cindy she changed her mind.  I don't like to cuss but Damn!!  They went to a lot of work to get everything setup and all sorts of services to help us!  Cindy was so patient and explained to Mom they could cut the nursing visits down for the week and more how the process worked.  (Which was explained very well yesterday at the hospital).  Mom kept crying.  I know this is a difficult time for her but it is on the rest of us as well.  She finally agreed to it.  After they left, she bawled like a baby.  This so much harder than I ever expected.  I love my Mom, but she is a difficult patient.
 Zach and MacKensie came by for a visit.  I still needed to go home and back to town to pick up groceries for Mom and Dad.  It's a good thing Dwayne isn't too picky as I wasn't home to fix supper and then bring him a sandwich around 8:30.  He works so hard in construction with a two hour drive each way.  I don't know how he does it.  He deserves a nice hot meal when he comes home.
My Dad still insists he can take care of her.  He is ninety and it's a full time job.  He can't lift on her too much longer.  I honestly think she needs to be in a nursing home but we will see how Hospice works out.  But they can only do so much.

Although I've been complaining a lot I am grateful to still have our Mom with us.

Hospice:

We had a meeting today with Hospice.  They explained to Mom and Dad Hospice wasn't just for the terminally ill.  It took awhile, but they agreed to it.  Dad can't continue to take care of Mom like he has been so it's good we'll have some help.
Mom is coming home tomorrow and Hospice will setup a hospital bed for her in the morning.  Talk about fast service.  They also provide a lot of care and equipment we didn't know about.
Judy, Kate and I listened very closely and we're so grateful for the help.

When my Dad was stationed in Hawaii years ago, he sent my Mom a grass skirt and a flower type top.  Very risqué for those days.  Yesterday, Dad took the picture (8x10) to show all the nurses and
the people we saw in the hallway and whoever would listen.  lol  I feel sorry for the poor nurses as they're trying to do their jobs and Dad interrupts them with his many stories.  Sometimes I have to wait going down the hall as Dad talks to everyone.  Mom first started out on this long journey February 28th when she broke her ankle.  SOOOOOOOO, I've heard these stories a lot.  I love my Dad and I love his stories, but sometimes it gets a little old.  Then I remind myself I will miss this one day.
Today, he took the pencil drawing my brother, Wayne made of Mom in the grass skirt (16x18).  We were busy with the meeting and he didn't get to show it to as many people.  I took him to get a haircut, he talked nonstop and had to go get the picture to show them at Great Clips.  The girl that cut Dad's hair was very nice about it.  I'm thankful for the people that have patience to listen to Dad's old family time stories.
The weather is very hot today.  I had planned to wash the porch and a few other chores outdoors but I found a short nap was much better.  Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.

I am grateful for this time with my parents.

Mom:

                                                                     Dad and Mom

My poor Momma just can't get a break.  When she had the stents put in a couple weeks ago, the Doctor had a problem getting the cath to come back out and it caused a blood clot.  They got the clot dissolved but it left quite a knot and much bruising.  Mom bruises easily from the blood thinner.
The "knot" formed a pseudo annyrism and was getting quite large.
Friday when we went to see Mom they were getting ready to take her down for an ultra sound.  We waited for an hour and a half.  I went to the nurse's station and the doctor came out to talk.  He drew a diagram showing what was involved and they needed to compress the area.  This caused too much pain and they were taking her into surgery to lightly sedate her during the compression.  It wasn't too much longer they brought her back to the room.  They couldn't do the procedure as Mom had ate lunch.  They rescheduled it for 7:30 p.m.  Called Judy, Kate and Russ.  Russ is in Springfield so he didn't come up.  Dad was totally worn out and hasn't been feeling well and wanted to go home.  I took Dad home and then took supper to Dwayne.  I went back to the hospital and Judy and Kate were there.  They let us go back to the "holding room" to be with Mom before they took her on in.  The anestesiaologist was quite a jokester and Mom gave it back to him.  He couldn't get one over on her.  They were lightly sedating her and apparently she told jokes the whole time.  Mom is a witty person and can remember jokes well and can recite childhood rhymes that other  people forget over the years. They were able to compress the area and it turned out well.  Judy went home after we saw Mom as she gets so worn out from her chemo.  Mom had been back in the room for awhile when Kate and the nurses noticed a firm hardened area in Mom's stomach.  This can sometimes be caused by an internal bleeding.  Back to the ultra sound again.  Made for a long night.  Then they didn't have anyone to read it that late so they had to send it out.  We waited quite awhile and then Kate left her phone number for them to call if something showed up.  Good news, no internal bleeding.
Mom is a tough lady and has been through a lot the past year.  She keeps on truckin on.

I'm so grateful Mom is improving and her breathing is much better.

Weekly Visit:

Last Wednesday was our weekly visit with April, Mike and Cash.  Cash talked nonstop but we didn't quite understand it all.  lol  Dwayne usually takes a walk around time with Cash.  This night, he pulled Cash around in his wagon.
Once again, we had a great time.

So grateful for this little blessing in our lives.

Fourth of July Weekend:

Friday night Dwayne and I went to the Rolla Carnival.   This has been a tradition in my family for years.  Dwayne's family always camped out for the weekend on the Gasconade River at Elrod's Landing.
We always go to buy tickets for the car they give away every year.  This year was a Camaro.  We didn't win.  Darn!!  My Uncle Emmett won a 1964 Chevy Impala one year.  He was like the celebrity in the family.
Saturday:
We went to Dwayne's cousin, Bryan's house in Cuba for a huge Elrod Reunion and barbecue.
Sunday:  Dad called early to say Mom wasn't breathing well and needed to go to the hospital.  I took her to the ER and they admitted her.  Wednesday of that week, they put two stents in.  One artery was 97% blocked.  Her breathing improved some.  She came home that Friday.  We thought she would get better that weekend but unfortunately she didn't.  That Monday Dad called around six to say he needed help as he'd been  up with Mom most of the night.  I sat with Mom until around 1:30 and took care of her so Dad could get some sleep.  Judy came over for awhile in the afternoon but she is so sick from the Chemo, she's not really able to help out.
Tuesday morning, Mom called and asked me to call an ambulance as she needed to go back to the hospital.  She had lost blood from the cardiac cath the week before.  They gave her two units of  blood and are monitoring her really close.  That was all last week,  This week she's still in the hospital.  My days consist of taking Dad up to see Mom.  Some days it's just emotionally draining.

We did squeeze in some fun on the weekend Mom was in the hospital.  We went to my cousin, Chris Feeler's sons wedding.  Lots of visiting with cousins I hadn't seen in years.  We brought Cash home with us for the night.  He is so entertaining and we enjoy him so much.  Sunday, Cash and I went to church.  Before church started he was so good and kept telling me sh.  I though we would get through church fine but when the pastor started talking, Cash started crying very loudly.  So we spent the rest of church in the nursery.  Cash had fun playing with all the toys and kids.
April and Mike came over and Chad and Todd came by for Sunday dinner.  I love being able to have them all home at once.  I have some great pictures from the weekend but me and this new computer don't get along very well for me to download.

Life has it ups and downs and the past year seems to be a lot of downs, but we're making it ok.  We count our blessings to still have our parents with us.  Although, if Mom keeps getting worse, I don't want to see her suffer.  Dad and I have had a lot of time together in our many trips to the hospital.  I learn new stories everyday and sometimes the same one over and over again.  lol

I am grateful for the life I've been given.

Explosion:

I was cooking an egg to add to the salad.  My niece, Ashlyne came by for a visit and I forgot all about it.  A little later I was watching TV and thought I smelled chicken.  Thought that was odd as I wasn't cooking chicken.  Still didn't think much about it.  A little later, I heard a LOUD pop.  The pan had run dry and the egg exploded.  What a mess!  I had egg bits all over the floor, all three counter tops and my crock pot.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Tried laughing as I cleaned up the mess.  I told Dwayne I was doing a science experiment and that yes if your pan goes dry while cooking an egg, the egg will explode!!  lol

Every day life events.  I'm so grateful for the "mundane" happenings.

Weekly Visit:

Pictures aren't in order.  Cash is feeding me the beads off my necklace.  He thinks it's hilarious.  I love the expression on Dwayne's face, pure love and contentment.

Love these weekly visits and am very grateful for our time together.